THIS POST IS SPONSORED BY MOLLY CLAIRE COACHING.
It’s less than two weeks until Mother’s Day, and the buzzword these days is “self-care.” While spoiling Mom is definitely the best course to take, Mother’s Day is often all about the gift certificates to the spa, flowers, tasty treats, and pampering.
Yes, a day of indulgence is a fantastic way to celebrate the accomplishments of special mamas in your life, but what if real self-care went a little bit deeper than just a few hours of luxury? Molly Claire, life coach and author of The Happy Mom Mindset encourages moms to think of self-care in deeper terms.
True self-care isn’t just about quick mood-fixers, easy-to-execute-tips, or pampering sessions, but in feeling empowered, confident, and capable.
So what would giving ourselves the gift of real, consistent self-care on Mother’s Day look like?
“Equipping themselves emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically is key as a mother,” Coach Molly notes. In her book, The Happy Mom Mindset, she encourages women to take responsibility back for their schedules, their priorities, and their mindsets.
So many moms operate on what almost amounts to a ‘victim mentality.’ We feel as if we’re responsible for everyone’s needs, emotions, and successes… Even worse, our kids’ failures are our fault! That’s an enormous amount of pressure.
Coach Molly isn’t the only one who has noticed this trend. The Pew Research Council reports that as many as 46% of parents feel that the success and failures of their children are a direct reflection on their performance as parents. The American Psychological Association reported that mothers generally feel higher and more tangible markers of stress than fathers, in general.
In her book and the accompanying workbook, Molly provides moms with a number of practical steps to take to help them put themselves back in the drivers’ seat of their own lives.
By equipping themselves and taking charge of their schedules, priorities, and mindsets, women will be happier, live more fulfilled lives, and have more satisfaction about their time management. In her book, Molly outlines 4 basic areas of self-care.
Self-care starts with intentional time management
Many moms are familiar with the feeling of just not having enough time in the day. No matter how precisely we work the schedule, the Jenga pieces still don’t quite fit.
In her book, Molly offers practical time management steps that actually have worked for other moms. She shares a number of stories that ring familiar… Moms who care deeply and who are worn out trying to make everything “work” on the calendar.
Sometimes, we get stuck thinking about time management as black or white—either we stick to a schedule or we don’t. This way of thinking just doesn’t work when you’re a mom because there has to be some wiggle room for important things that come up.
I promise it’s possible to set a specific schedule, commit to it, and also be resourceful and creative to adapt as needed. It’s an art, but you can learn… If you’re willing to practice.
She encourages her clients to get specific, strategic, and mathematical about their schedules noting you can’t squeeze 30 hours into 24. If it doesn’t work on paper, it’s not going to work in real life amidst traffic and the chaos of kids.
Self-care includes escaping the “black holes”
Comparison traps, unrealistic expectations, and the fear of missing out. Modern moms are familiar with the comparison game and the urge to keep up. But Molly warns about this mental black hole in her book:
Unrealistic or perfectionist expectations are one of the most detrimental thoughts to our own personal progress.
Sometimes, we’re fooled into thinking that criticizing ourselves is “noble” because we believe our behavior should change, but critical and negative self-talk isn’t the road to powerful positive change.
In fact, in most cases, it has the opposite impact, leading you to doubt your ability to grow and develop in the ways you consider important.
To combat this destructive mentality, Molly encourages moms to see failure as a chance to learn, make adjustments, and grow. Using the lens of curiosity rather than a lens of failure helps Molly’s clients to become the best version of themselves, rather than the best version of everyone else.
Setting healthy boundaries with others
Even those closest to us. In The Healthy Mom Mindset, Molly writes
As well-intentioned, loving parents, we easily fall into the trap of believing that we are responsible for our kids’ happiness.
But, parents who shield their children from every potential threat to their comfort or happiness are putting an impossible burden on themselves. Studies have shown that their children are going to be less resilient and unhappy in the long run.
Molly encourages parents to be supportive and present for their kids, while understanding that it is acceptable for children to feel negative emotions and experience difficulties and failures.
You are responsible for your happiness. Others are responsible for their happiness. If I could give every mom in Frisco a gift on Mother’s Day, it would be this message.
Only you can take care of you
Fellow author, Danielle LaPorte, writes, “Self-care is a divine responsibility.”
So, maybe the best gift you can give the first lady in your life this Mother’s Day is the gift of real self-care, and it might start by engaging the services of a coach, or ordering a copy of The Happy Mom Mindset.
Interested in some additional steps towards empowering yourself and becoming the best version of you this Mother’s Day? Check out Molly Claire’s book or contact her for an initial consultation.
You can’t gift happiness, but you might be able to help Mom begin to use tools that will lead her to it.