You know what really grinds my gears?

lesscrazy

Bronze Member
#1
I've seen this several times recently.
Teenage boys sitting in the passenger seat while their girlfriends ( or maybe sisters) pump gas.
I know women are perfectly capable of pumping gas but it just seems like guy's job, like holding a door.
My wife hasn't pumped gas more than a dozen times since she got pregnant. I make a point to keep gas in my wife's car, if I don't do it my now teenage son does.
If my daughter's boyfriend wouldn't extend that simple courtesy I would tell her to dump him.It's like the waiter rule: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waiter_Rule
 

NottaName

Diamond Member
#3
Take a deep breath... while I respect and appreciate your chivalry, some women prefer to do things on their own.

I pump the gas when I'm driving. I changed our our garbage disposal. I repair our sprinkler system. I have changed out the wiper blades. Just a can-do kinda gal, I guess.

I don't care to feel like a helpless female.

But if you wanna run me a bath, I'd be most pleased.
 

Lefty75035

Silver Member
#5
Take a deep breath... while I respect and appreciate your chivalry, some women prefer to do things on their own.

I pump the gas when I'm driving. I changed our our garbage disposal. I repair our sprinkler system. I have changed out the wiper blades. Just a can-do kinda gal, I guess.

I don't care to feel like a helpless female.

But if you wanna run me a bath, I'd be most pleased.


Ditto! Especially that bubble bath please....
 

perseco

Double Platinum
#7
Several assumptions here... if the boy and girl are both teenagers and the boy is in the passenger seat, 9 times out of 10, the car is going to be owned by the girl or her parents and it is her responsibility. And when you are not in a committed relationship, you don't want to be the guy that "epic fails" when pumping the wrong gas or scratching her car or something. You also don't want to be in a situation where she can drive off and leave you while you have your back turned.

Summary: It is the duty of the person operating the vehicle to pump the gas. Chivalry does not apply here, since women can dr-...
 

scraven68

Silver Member
#8
I always did everything when my wife and I were dating and first got married years ago.

But she too felt she was more than capable to doing many things, so I let her do them whenever SHE WANTED to. Sometimes to both of our horrors. But she learned how to do many things on her own, and now that I am disabled, it has certainly been a GOOD thing.

She now does most of the things I used to do. And she will not even LET me try to do them.

pumps the gas, cuts the grass, etc. I still try and help but I get chastised for doing it.

I don't want to feel helpless, but now I can see how a woman would feel that way if the guy insisted on doing it all, it's like a total role reversal in our home. I don't wanna feel helpless now, and she DOES let me do some things...like the dishes and laundry, and some light cleaning chores indoors out of the heat. LOL.

So things balanced out for us, just kind of in reverse of the stereotypical "norm".
 

lesscrazy

Bronze Member
#9
I guess so but I still like to see a guy treat a girl/female/person like a lady.
My wife is most able and she has proven to be quite the re-modeler/electrician but I still open doors for her and draw her a bath and I have been known to rub her feet without being asked.
 

van

Diamond Member
#11
I guess so but I still like to see a guy treat a girl/female/person like a lady.
.
I doubt most teens get this at their age. Heck, most young women are trying to figure themselves out, what roles they want to play etc. I doubt chivalry has even entered their minds.
 

boiler01

Silver Member
#13
I'm going to sound WAY over-the-top jaded at the moment, but to me chivalry isn't just the holding of doors and pulling out of chairs. It's not walking away when the going gets tough.

I was a child when my grandmother slowly died at a very young age. She was so ill. Every night my grandfather helped her bathe. Combed her hair. Put her to bed. He held her hand through numerous surgeries and retired early to care for her because they could not afford a private nurse. He even moved from his home of 40+ years so she could live her final years in Las Vegas (I think she always thought they could relive the rat pack years). He had always said that watching the love of his life die was harder than all of his medal in WWII, storming the beaches of Guadalcanal, seeing missions as part of Marine Corps recon units or being a part of the first flag raising on Iwo. His love was so profound that from the day she died until he did he never so much as dated another woman - he said it was 20 years of "I'm waiting to dance with the love of my life again."

When I said goodbye to my grandfather the night he died he held my hand and told me how proud he was of me and how we wished he could see me find that the love he had for his "M_______" - my grandmother. That strong women fail to recognize "the greatest strength and passion are in the quiet moments no one else see."

I'm not going to fault a kid for not getting out of the car. I'm going to fault a man who has decided "This is more than I signed on for." Or the other wonderful view points of "I feel it would be my 'duty' to leave if you became incapacitated." Or "No, I would never have left my first wife. Divorces ruin children." My question "I'm your second wife _____" "I know but that wasn't my preference to leave her." "What about our children?" "Well, that's tough. I do love them. It's just they're not my primary concern since you wanted them. I have to worry about my oldest first."

For me treating a woman like a lady is in the day in and day out. Yes, the little stuff matters. Yes, I like having someone hold a door for me, or pour me a glass of wine, he!! I love flowers too. It just isn't the only definition.

Sorry. My ticked off, emotionally hurting rant is over.

(edited: And I'll say my grandfather's love would not have been reduced imo if he had remarried. But superficial outward symbols are not the only ways to show your chivalry. They are nice, but to me it is more an attitude than just actions.)
 
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#14
I've seen this several times recently.
Teenage boys sitting in the passenger seat while their girlfriends ( or maybe sisters) pump gas.
I know women are perfectly capable of pumping gas but it just seems like guy's job, like holding a door.
My wife hasn't pumped gas more than a dozen times since she got pregnant. I make a point to keep gas in my wife's car, if I don't do it my now teenage son does.
If my daughter's boyfriend wouldn't extend that simple courtesy I would tell her to dump him.It's like the waiter rule: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waiter_Rule
That's what YOU want to do. Doesn't mean that others a bad apples or social rejects for not doing things like you.
 

kenny6

Gold Member
#15
Women want all the benefits of being a man but none of the negatives.

Just an example...They want men to do dishes and laundry half the time but God forbid they get out and cut the grass when its 105 out...no, no thats a mans job!
 
#16
Women want all the benefits of being a man but none of the negatives.

Just an example...They want men to do dishes and laundry half the time but God forbid they get out and cut the grass when its 105 out...no, no thats a mans job!
Not all women are like that. I have mowed my fair share in the TX summer because RB was busy at work, traveling or just tired. On the flip side, he has no problem helping me with laundry, the dishes, the kids, when I have had a bad day or need the help. Marriage is a constant compromise and takes tremendous effort from both parties and anyone who says differently is cray cray. ;)
 

bizguy

Diamond Member
#17
Not all women are like that. I have mowed my fair share in the TX summer because RB was busy at work, traveling or just tired. On the flip side, he has no problem helping me with laundry, the dishes, the kids, when I have had a bad day or need the help. Marriage is a constant compromise and takes tremendous effort from both parties and anyone who says differently is cray cray. ;)
Yeah, we already established that RBW mows in nothing.... :)

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk 2
 

LLB

Silver Member
#18
Women want all the benefits of being a man but none of the negatives.

Just an example...They want men to do dishes and laundry half the time but God forbid they get out and cut the grass when its 105 out...no, no thats a mans job!
Not in my house, NOBODY touches my mower but ME!!!! Mowing is my therapy it can be 50 or 110 out and I will mow no matter what. Ask me to work on the car or other mens work and there ain't no way you would catch me doing that.
 
#19
Not all women are like that. I have mowed my fair share in the TX summer because RB was busy at work, traveling or just tired. On the flip side, he has no problem helping me with laundry, the dishes, the kids, when I have had a bad day or need the help. Marriage is a constant compromise and takes tremendous effort from both parties and anyone who says differently is cray cray. ;)
I totally agree!

I often mow because there is no way he should work all day and then come home and do that too. He does the edging, etc. because I am not good at that.

Now as for the OP stating that the guy should pump the gas, well I think that the person who owns the car or is paying for the gas (with pay at the pump) would pay for the gas.

On a long trip, unrelated people maybe should switch off paying for filling up, but just cruising around Frisco or McKinney, the car owner should tank up, and pay for it. Since I am married, and "we" pay for everything, my husband always hops out and pumps the gas.

I am still a fan of men opening doors for ladies, which costs absolutely nothing. My husband still does that after 13 years and I imagine he enjoys my "displays of appreciation".
 

van

Diamond Member
#20
What happened to doing these things for the love of our lives, because we want to? We're partners. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours?

Women don't expect these things . But it sure is nice to have little things done for us, that make us feel the fairer sex.