What can I expect?

So I have made the unbelievably heart-wrenching decision. Tidbits isn't going to get better, she is getting worse. The what seemed wondrous food that the vet prescribed her, she loves, but is not keeping it down. TMI, but it is coming out in mucousy junk out the backend. I know, gross, but Dr. Black says that is because the lymphoma is in her intestines and even if she is eating, she isn't absorbing nutrients and she is literally starving. :(

I could care less about the mess and picking it up. It breaks my heart that she is like this. So, on Fri I decided she needed peace. I wanted this weekend with her. She still is in good spirits and has been spending every moment she can with us. Almost in anticipation. We will take her Mon morning. I have a friend watching my lil girl while we take her in. I have explained that she will no longer be here when they come back from school. She will go to the vet because we can no longer care for her, is what I told them.

BUT, what will it be like at the vet? I didn't think to ask them. I have never done this before. I know I take her in. Do we wait? Do we watch? What do I do? I know I don't want her back. I couldn't bear that. What should I expect to happen? RB will go with me.


Double Platinum
DH took our dog in when her time was up. He stayed with her while I waited outside with our middle kid (she wanted to come). It was hard and for months K would ask where Dixie was. We still avoid our backyard (it was her favorite place). I'm so sorry you are going through this. Take pics of the cat with the kids. We didn't do that (the carcinoma was in the nasal passage so there was a lot of blood) but I wish we had more pics.

I will be praying for you guys. :(
Pictures are a great idea! I know I wanted a last one with her. We will do that tomorrow. Well, if she is willing.... Cats... They are a wiley bunch.


Senior Member
First, I'm sorry Tidbits isn't getting any better. This is the hardest thing to go through as a pet owner. As far as what happens at the vet, usually they'll let you decide how long you want to stay with her. I know some people will stay through the first sedation type shot and then leave before the final shot is administered. With my own dogs and fosters I have had to let go, I have stayed through both shots and spent some time with them after. It was hard, but I felt like I had to. The decision is totally up to you. They will likely give you the option to have her ashes returned to you, usually in a nice little urn, but you don't have to do so if too upsetting.

My suggestion to you is to go in first and pay, advise the front desk why you are there before you bring Tidbits inside and that way hopefully they will take you straight back to a room with no waiting in the lobby when you do bring her inside.

Do you have any videos of her? Even though she's not well, you could still take some short video, maybe with your kids nearby. That might be eaiser than a picture if she doesn't like to sit stil or "pose".

I will be thinking of you and Tidbits tomorrow morning. I am very sorry. :-(
I am so sorry to hear about your cat :( I have has to put down several of my dogs over the couple of years and its hard. Definitely like others have said take some pictures and its up to you if you want to stay when they give the shots. I have always stayed because I didn't want my baby at the time to be alone

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Gold Member
Unfortunately, I am in the very same boat as you~ having to say goodbye to my dog. It's much more unexpected, as he is in kidney failure that was just diagnosed. We have exhausted all efforts and nothing is working. :( He's not young, but he's not super old either and this is completely unexpected.

I have been through the process before and I can share my experiences with you. If you want, just PM me with your contact info and I can walk you through exactly what happens. Honestly, the worst part is the anticipation and just getting to/ through the appointment. But the whole thing just sucks for us as the owners.


Senior Member
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. We recently put our 14 yr old cat to sleep and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It was my first time losing a pet this way.

We used a in-home service : http://www.lapoflove.com/. We were very pleased with the whole experience. It was peaceful, loving and it was in the comfort of our home. Our cat HATED the car ride and going to the vet. So we didn't want to add to his pain and trauma that is why we made a decision to have it in our home. Please PM me if you would like more detail.


Diamond Member
I'm so sorry.

I've been through this twice, too soon both times, with truly loved pets.

Emotionally expect a mixture of terrible sadness and also peace. Your heart knows its best for your cat despite the breaking of it.

Expect fits of tears and also happy memories. Expect when you are distracted to head towards the pet isle in the grocery store and well up when you realize it's not needed

But also expect to "feel" her in your heart, her presence and memories and to be at peace that you were able to take her pain away.


Diamond Member
Everything has been covered. I spent a week reading on the internet about what to do.

I prepaid over the phone. I requested the earliest appointment. Vets are caring. I stayed with mine while he got the shot. They let you stay after as long as you like. I stayed about 10 minutes and rubbed him and thanked him for years of company . Then you can leave without worrying about payment.

I already had pictures but yes take more. Depending you might want a little video. I also cut some fur off. I had him cremated and a picture and box are in my study.

Expect complete outbursts when you think about the memories. Any time anyone mentions it or I type it like now I cry. It sucks. Its sad. I'm sorry. My dog helps with carrying on the animal companionship. I think you have other pets? That helps. I talk to the picture and ashes. Do whatever you need to do.

Yes I switched food and started him on meds. You see signs of hope. Dont let a pet suffer because of our emotions. I started to delay the appt. Then I realized the day will come. They love us. We love them. Its time and I made the decision. Be comforted by making the decision at the right time. You will know.
I'm so sorry RBW :(

I went through this 2 years ago with my 20 year old and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. We got there and they examined her (went to an emergency vet rather than my own since I had just flown back that evening) to make sure I wasn't putting down a healthy animal. Once ready, they gave her a calming shot first. She was so sick that she didn't even notice. Last year when we had to put our dogs to sleep, one of them was very scared and seemed to "know" what was going on and fought the needle. There's no way to know how they will react. After that, they injected her with the other stuff. They listened to her heart and let me know when she was gone. They asked me if I wanted some time with her, and then left me alone for about 15 minutes. After I sobbed and held her, we paid and left. They asked what I wanted to do with her body. Apparently there are many options, but I just had her cremated.

For me, taking pictures of the last few days was not as important as video, or more specifically sound. I held my phone up to her neck and recorded her purring so I would always be able to go back and listen to the sound that had comforted me for almost my entire life. Best decision I could have made to help my healing. I couldn't have her body anymore, but I could still have her comfort.

I'll be thinking of you on Monday.
I have no other pets. She is it. I would like another cat or two, but not sure I can do that soon. We will see. I will try to take some pics and videos with her today. She isn't really into being around the noisy kids, but she did let lil RB pet her yesterday to say goodbye. I told him now was his chance, since she was sitting still and tired. I wish I had thought of the prepayment thing on Fri. I guess I can do that first tomorrow, so I don't have to deal with that when leaving the vet tomorrow. Thanks guys.
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. It is the most loving, and at the same time, most heart-breaking thing to do for our furbabies. For our Brandi girl, DH and DS stayed with her for both shots, but I could only handle the first one. Brandi had lost her sight and hearing due to Cushing's, so I wrapped her in one of my sweaters, as my way of holding her in my arms til the end.

I'll be thinking of you and your family tomorrow.
I had to make this difficult decision for our cat about 5 years ago. Like Brian, I stayed with my cat while Dr. Bobo administered the shot. I had my head next to my cat's head and talked to him and rubbed him and stayed like that til the end. Dr. B stayed until he pronounced him, then let me stay with him in the room as long as I needed. I asked Dr B for the body so I left the room and they wrapped him up in a cloth and put him in a box for me. I brought him home and buried him on the side of the house and we bought a stone at one of the craft stores that had a cat on his and space for us to write his name.

You have other burial options, like cremation with the remains coming back to you, or the cremation place can scatter the ashes.

So sorry, we lost one of our sweet kitties two days ago when she literally dropped dead of heart failure while I was patting her. She was only 10, it was a huge shock.
I'm so sorry you're going through this! Just reading this post is choking me up and it's been 2.5 years since we put our last dog down. (we've unfortunately had to put two dogs down) Every vet is different, but we use Dr. Tucker by Carroll Elementary. We stayed in the room with both dogs and I'm so happy we made that decision. The last dog we put down was a dobie and so obviously a large dog. They laid a very nice blanket down on the ground and we settled the dog comfortably down on the blanket. We paid ahead of time so we could just quickly leave when we were ready. They first gave her a calming shot and it was like she was just lying down to go to sleep. She laid her head down between her front paws and was VERY relaxed. (pretty much motionless in this state) We said our final goodbyes and I looked into her eyes one last time and just buried my head into her and talked to her and stroked her while they injected the final medication. It was a very fast process, maybe 10 seconds and then Dr. Tucker checked her heartbeat and it had stopped. I gently closed her eyes and he just left us in the room to cry and love on her for a bit longer until we were ready to go. They have a quick side entrance so we could just bolt out a side door vs. having to walk back through the receptionist area.

I will say be prepared to cry and sob. By the time we were at this decision, the entire vet staff had witnessed me pretty much bawling and they gave me a Kleenex box and were very sensitive the entire time. You will go through a range of emotions and so be prepared to just grieve and allow yourself to. Hugs to you!!!


Diamond Member
When we let Simba go at Dr. Bobo's, it appears that things have changed a bit since Black Bear's experience.

We had hoped to be with him as he went to sleep, but Dr. B said he had to take him to another room and put in the little plastic "tub" and gassed prior to the shot. So that's what happened. He brought Simba back into the room after he was asleep, then administered the shot. After Simba was gone, we were allowed time to pet and grieve.

The drive, as short as it was, was the hardest part.

But do know, RBWife, that you are giving her release from the pain and discomfort from her illness. It's not fair to her, not fair to you. It's a deeply loving, albeit terribly hard, thing you have to do for her.

Many, many hugs.


Bronze Member
i stayed with my dog when we had to euthanize her. Our girl was old and had cancer. Our vet explained the procedure since we had never done it before. The biggest things I can say about the experience was that it was so peaceful and very quick. Being with her those last few minutes are something I will cherish FOREVER.
I hope you are doing OK today and your kitty passed peacefully. Our 13.5 year old puppy was recently diagnosed with lymphoma. My DH and DS are taking her for ice cream as we speak. It isn't going to be long. My heart is breaking as I am typing this. Pets are family members that we choose. :-(